Jul 29 2010

Bad days keep rolling in

Mr Stuff

Surprisingly over the last week I’ve had a few evenings where I’ve felt almost normal, no pain or nausea to be found. But as is the way these evenings always end up with an early morning filled with pain.

So no real improvement but I get to see the chronic pain team in just over a week so hopefully that will make a difference.

Jul 20 2010

I’m ready for my close up

Mr Stuff

As expected my gastro guy is running out of ideas and has suggested one more test before he bows out. The test involves me swallowing a little camera which takes pics as it goes through my digestive system.

The hope is that it may pick up on stuff that a normal gastroscopy can’t see. But it is the last thing he can think of and unless this test shows something I won’t be seeing him again.

So let’s hope it shows something, but I’m not expecting a lot.

Jul 15 2010

Slowly dawning on me

Mr Stuff

I’ve slowly come to the realisation that my medical team are about out of ideas, I’m seeing my gastro guy on Monday so I will be able to confirm this then, which is why I have been farmed off to the chronic pain team. Since they will help me to try and move the focus of my symptoms.

Currently my symptoms are right in front of me and I have to keep trying to do stuff around them, which is very hard, but they will try to move them to the back of my mind so that I can deal with them better. Which should be a welcome relief.

But it does also mean that there is little chance of me being fixed any time soon, since they still have little idea what is wrong, so I may have to live with these symptoms for a long time to come. Which has recently hit me quite hard, although I’m trying my best to hide it.

There is still a chance that some good may come out of my gastro visit but I’m half expecting him to say there’s little more he can do clinically and leave me in the care of the chronic pain team.

Jul 9 2010

How low can you go

Mr Stuff

I know I shouldn’t but I’m still beating myself up over my dismal appearance at the pub the other day. It was the first time I’d been out in ages and I didn’t really try to talk to the people that were out.

There was the fact that I wasn’t feeling too well but I don’t think that sitting at the end of the table keeping to myself helped. I should have made the effort to chat to people as it may have made me feel a bit better. But instead I’m feeling quite low about it

Jul 8 2010

One big no show

Mr Stuff

Yesterday there was a birthday pub visit which I went along to even though I was feeling quite crappy. I figured it would be a long wait if I was to only go out when I was having a good day.

So off we popped and from the second I left the house I felt uncomfortable and anxious, feelings that only intensified as the night wore on. I was very withdrawn and didn’t really talk much as it took a lot of concentration just to stay out. Suffice to say I didn’t stay out to long, I think it was just over an hour or so.

The most annoying thing is that I was surrounded by good friends but just couldn’t enjoy myself at all. So sorry to everyone that was out that I wasn’t very chatty but it’s just so much effort to leave the house and stay out these days, leaving me as a very dim shadow of my former self.

Jul 5 2010

Clouds that look like things

Mr Stuff

Recently there have been a few times where I’ve seen clouds that look like waves, which is nice, so I took some pics of them to share with you all.

Wave clouds 1
Wave clouds 2

Jul 2 2010

Appointment went well

Mr Stuff

So I had my appointment with the pain assessment team and they have come up with a plan. The plan is that initially I’ll have joint appointments with a consultant and a psychologist to try and sort out my mental issues as well as look into new ways of managing my pain and nausea.

So I’m going to give them a ring early next week to see when it can all start. Looks like things may be taking an upward turn.