Sep 29 2010

How time flies

Mr Stuff

Today is our 5th wedding anniversary and it’s come round really quickly. So today I’m going to pay tribute to my Mrs Stuff.

I’m not that easy to live with at the moment with pain, nausea, mood swings, no motivation, feeling worthless etc (i really could go on). But through all that she’s been a rock, always supportive and caring. I’m not sure how I could have gone through all this without her and love her as much now as I ever have, which is loads.

So thank you for being there for me Mrs Stuff and I promise I’m going to make it up to you once I’m all better.

Sep 28 2010

Ding, ding. Round 3

Mr Stuff

Today I had my third round of acupuncture, which puts me half way through the course, and you know I think it might be doing something.

I’ve been up since 3.30 this morning and felt terrible before going, even thought about cancelling, but after having 14 needless poked into me I did feel a bit better. I don’t feel great by any means but do feel better than I did earlier. So let’s hope it is doing some good.

Sep 23 2010

Day 1000

Mr Stuff

Well it seems I’ve reached day 1000 of being ill, quite disappointing really. But now that I’ve hit this milestone I’ve decided to take the day counter off since I don’t think counting the days helps my state of mind.

So tonight I’ll most likely have some fish fingers and beer to celebrate, yay :(

Sep 22 2010

Gotta start somewhere

Mr Stuff

I’m still thinking about how to start sorting my head out and I think I know how to start. The pain team have a company that specialise in finding work for people with chronic pain and I think I want to talk to them.

I’m not sure if I’m ready for work but I have to try, even if I fail. My thinking behind this is that I’ve become a drain on resources, especially Mrs Stuff, and it makes me feel very sad.

I’ve also been feeling like an empty shell just going through the day with no purpose or direction and this might help. I’ll have to start off slowly and the pain team may disagree with me but if I don’t do something I feel as if I’ll fall so far that I won’t be able to dig myself out.

Sep 20 2010

My own worst enemy

Mr Stuff

I’ve been thinking about my situation for a good while now and have known that my mental state could be having a big impact on it. But the problem is what to do about it, and that’s the bit I need to concentrate on.

I’m not sure how to start but I’m sure the pain team can help me out on that so I’ll ask them when I see them next week. One thing I have decided on though is that once I’m better I’ll celebrate my illness with a tattoo, my current thinking is the operation game man with a big question mark on his abdomen.

Sep 14 2010

Another bad week

Mr Stuff

In the past week I’ve had another round of acupuncture and some lessons in relaxing from the pain team and they don’t seem to be helping yet.

The relaxing does seem to work for a few minutes but then it’s business as usual. It may be that for the last month I’ve been having a really bad episode or maybe I’m stressing myself out by wanting these things to work.

I haven’t heard anything back about the camera endoscopy so I’m figuring they didn’t find anything, which is annoying. So it looks as though I’m probably never going to get a real diagnosis and will remain a medical mystery for as long as this continues.

Sep 1 2010

My day of filming

Mr Stuff

I had my camera endoscopy yesterday and it wasn’t that bad. In order for the test to be successful I had to stop eating from midday on Monday, all I could have was water until the test was over at about 6pm yesterday, and that was the hardest bit.

The camera itself was about as big as a large pill and surprisingly easy to swallow and I had 8 leads connected to me to record the pics. The recorder was in a little man bag and made me feel a bit like Spock with his tricorder, good job I wasn’t wearing a red tshirt.

Going without food was a little annoying, more so when I popped round to see Jac on Monday night and she was sharing a fine chinese feast with Mrs Stuff. But worse was going without medication for the day, all I could have was soluble co-codamol which tastes like crap and I couldn’t take anything to get rid of the taste.

But it’s over now and the pics are being looked at tomorrow so I should know if they find anything quite soon. But if not then there are no more tests that can be done so I’ll have to rely solely on the Pain Management Team.