Feb 26 2011

Still getting bored of this

Mr Stuff

Friday was a tip top sucky day and it looks like Saturday’s going to be a long one.

Friday started with a fairly pointless wander to my doctor’s surgery which I can’t be arsed to go into now, but it was a long walk for me and wiped me out for a lot of the afternoon.

After recovering from that the rest of the day was kind of OK and I was in bed by 10:30 or so. All good until 1:19 when I woke with my abdomen feeling like it was on fire. I did try to force myself back to sleep, it does work sometimes, but it wasn’t going to happen. So I got up.

The really annoying bit is that Mrs Stuff had been out seeing British Sea Power, she do like them, and I was up before she got back. That’s happened a few times now and doesn’t help me deal with the early mornings at all.

Edit: I’ve just read back through this and have to say it really pisses me off reading about how whiny I’ve become. I know it’s because of my current situation but I really miss the old me.

Feb 24 2011

Anxiety is a harsh mistress

Mr Stuff

Recently I’ve noticed that I’m getting worse at leaving the house as anxiety gets the better of me. I still have my safe places outside the house but getting to them is getting trickier.

I have to really work myself up to leave the house and feel really uncomfortable leaving the house once it gets dark. I know there is only a small chance of something bad happening with the symptoms but I spose it’s only natural given how much time I spend at home.

It’s something I really need to try and get on top of but it’s really hard.

Feb 16 2011

Getting my head checked out

Mr Stuff

I had my first appointment with a clinical psychologist today and am happy to say I’m not going mad.

As it was the first appointment he was asking me all about how I’m dealing with stuff. From this I admitted that I beat myself up too much about all the things I don’t feel I can do anymore and my self worth.

I get to see him again in about a month and hopefully he’ll have some ideas about dealing with the nausea.

Feb 10 2011

More of the same with some waiting

Mr Stuff

I didn’t put up any posts last week because it was one of the worst weeks I’ve had in a long time. I was up early every other morning and felt really crappy. So far this week is a little better but I was up at 4 this morning, boo.

But to keep me occupied there is a lot of waiting for post to arrive.
Just over 2 weeks ago Play.com shipped my copy of Dead Space 2 collectors edition and it has yet to arrive. Unfortunately I have to wait another week before they can look into where it’s gone. What’s worse is that nearly every day parcels keep arriving for Mrs Stuff, but none for me. Grrr
The other post I’m waiting for is from the DWP. Nearly a month ago they finally looked into my ESA appeal and have said I am eligible for it, yay. So they owe me from Jan 2010 and are really taking their time in getting back to me.

So I best get back to staring at the letter box