May 28 2012

What a rollercoaster

Mr Stuff

A while ago I went to see my Doctor for a prescription review, mainly because I haven’t seen him for ages, and after chatting to him it was decided that I try to up my dose of amitriptyline. Since in lower doses it’s meant to work well on neuropathic pain I thought why not, so upped my dose from 25mg to 50mg per day.

First thing I noticed was that it did make me a lot more sleepy after taking it, which was kind of a good thing as I was hoping for less early morning starts. Which it did a bit, my early morning starts were shifted from 2-3am to 5am, a bit better. So I kept taking it at the higher dose.

But after a few weeks it dawned on me that I was not doing so well on the new dose. For the last 6 months I have been fighting the illness hard, trying to get my life back, but with this new dose I seemed to be going backwards. I became very withdrawn, a lot more grumpy and quite the apathetic zombie. I was a shadow of the self that I was only a month ago. I’d lost my spark, the fire in my belly that made me want to fight.

So I’ve dropped the dose back down, and am hoping that I can regain that fire. Mr Stuff will get back to normal, as normal as I can get while still ill.

May 17 2012

Back on the horse

Mr Stuff

It’s been a while since I last updated this blog, because I’ve been a bit busy and keep forgetting to write a new one. So time for an update.

A few weeks ago I signed off ESA and registered myself as a sole trader so that I can start work again, and have successfully completed my first contract. Which has all been great for me, it’s good to feel useful again. I did most of the work from home and the guys I worked for were very flexible about working around my illness.

It really helped lift my mood to do the work, but I am now between contracts, I know where the next work is coming from but need to wait for it, which has dropped my mood a little. Going from working and busy to doing nothing again has hit me and I’m struggling a little. But I just need to be patient and wait for the next load of work.