Shipwrecked in my past 

Mr Stuff

I’ve been thinking of ways to try and make it easier for people to understand my memory issues, which I know can be tough. The best I’ve come up with, with a little help, is a shipwreck metaphor.

I’ve been shipwrecked in my past, left floating alone in an empty ocean, clinging to anything I can find. The things I cling to can be people, who I see as islands, music or other little stimuli, I see as driftwood, and fleeting feelings and emotions, floating debris that is always out of reach.

This also comes with the fear that any islands I find will be desolate and unforgiving, driftwood could sink just as I get to it and I may never be able to reach the other floating debris. But I need to try and get to any support/shelter/safety I can find which means it will dominate my time for a while as I discover whether it’s a good thing for me or not. (Anyone else feel I’m getting carried away with this metaphor?)

I’ve also stopped saying I’ve lost my memory, I’ve temporarily misplaced it and it may come back. But it may not and I’m comfortable with that now, I think. But for now I’m floating along surrounded by a few islands in the distance, lots of floating driftwood and a field of debris slowly floating away, but there’s hope of a rescue when I see the neurology folk in January.

Then there is always the option that I just leave the past where it is. I’m still me whether I remember go I got here or not. But the problem with that is the emotions and feeling I often get, some move me to my very core, that I just can’t ignore. I need to explore them and see where they came from and see why they sometimes have such an effect on me. So I’m destined to remain floating around until I know more about why I’ve been shipwrecked in the first place.

2 Responses to “Shipwrecked in my past ”

  • Eor Says:

    Let’s hope for a speedy neurology lifeboat. :-)

  • Mr Stuff Says:

    Thank you sir, I’m kinda hoping for that too. But my biggest fear is that they’ll say they have no idea and can’t do anything, given my current health situation it’s a realistic fear