I’m not trained for this

Mr Stuff

I was chatting with a good friend recently and a very good point came up, in general men aren’t really good at showing emotion, we’re just not trained for it. I’m not being chauvinistic in saying that, it’s all in our (my) upbringing. I’ve been taught to suppress emotions, bury it all down and hope it goes away. And you know what, it doesn’t.

Usually other stuff gets in the way and it gets lost, but right now emotions are mainly what I run on. There’s nothing to replace them, distract me from them or make them go away and I’ve had to learn quickly how to deal with that. It mainly involves a lot of crying, most of which has been when I’m on my own as I’m still unfamiliar with sharing that much emotion, I think Mrs Stuff may have been as surprised as me when it came out.

I’m also being very careful not to add any more to my overflowing bucket of emotion. I’m deliberately listening to music that I know is safe and not watching things that may set me off. Also not looking at Facebook when I’m at work, or doing anything else that may trigger another little break down at work. 

It’s a narrow path to walk but I need to deal with all I currently have before adding too much more. Although I know that in order to face this thing I will need to, but by then I’ll hopefully be better at dealing with it all.


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